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By Carolyn Steber May 24, While everybody's parents made mistakes, went through tough times, or didn't always know the exact right thing to do, some people were raised by truly toxic parents, and it can show. If your partner's mom is toxicthe effect she had on them may still be sticking around — even years later. And it may even be dragging down your relationship. That's why it can be helpful to recognize these s, not only to better understand why your partner acts the way they dobut also so you can be a better partner yourself, and help them through it.

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That's why it can be helpful to recognize these s, not only to better understand why your partner acts the way they dobut also so you can be a better partner yourself, and help them through it.

It's up to your partner to decide how much contact they'd like to have with their mom, and you to support them in that. Klapow says. But have you ever thought pschology your partner as total and complete people pleaser? By Carolyn Steber May 24, While everybody's parents made mistakes, went through tough times, or didn't always know the exact right thing to do, some people were raised by truly toxic parents, and it can show. If so, it might have something to do with how they were raised.

When a mom is like this, it can "cause their adult children to seek out romantic relationships that involve codependency issues," Bennett says. Here are a few s experts say may mean your partner was raised by a toxic momas well as what you both can do about it.

Maternal Instinct: Does It Really Exist?

This is likely a habit they picked up from their mom. As Hershenson says, "If they have difficulty telling you how they feel and instead expect you to be a mindreader," it could be due to growing up around a toxic mom who expected the same. In order to heal, your partner may need to cut off contact with their mom, make amends, seek therapy, or learn psycbology to see through world through a healthier lens.

Things may change in the future, but for now all you can do is be there, be understanding, and make sure this toxicity doesn't start to affect your relationship.

If your partner is anxiousfor example, they might read into everything that happens in your relationship, or always expect the worst. But lloking a big difference between figkre person who wants to help out their parents, and someone who lives in fear of them. The child of a toxic mom might "not hug or kiss you, [or they might] refuse sex in order to make you feel bad," therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSWtells Bustle.

How an Absent Mother Affects Children

And they've learned to do the same. Do they go out of their way to make others happy — often at the expense of their own happiness? And it may even be dragging down your relationship. The best thing to do in this case is to talk to your partner if this dynamic has been set, and suggest they find outside help if their childhood may be to blame. Which, of course, is totally possible to do.

By establishing healthy boundaries in gigure relationshipyou'll both know what to expect of each other.

Looking for a mother figure psychology

By figuring out better ways to handle conflict or even perceived conflict history won't have to repeat itself. If your partner's mom is toxicthe effect she had on them may still be sticking around — even years later.

Father figure

You can offer your support by showing them you're there for them if they need it. After all, once you've been dating someone for a while, it's expected that you'll become a part of their family in some way — maybe through holidays, weddings, reunions, or even simple dinners on Sunday nights. So take note if your partner lacks assertiveness with their mom, or tries their best to make her happy — even if it negatively impacts their life.

So even though you and your partner may live far away, or have little contact with their family, they still may have a negative reaction whenever they do interact. When someone treats their mom with love and respect, it's a of good character.

It could involve pleasing you as a partner, but also others in their lives as they psyhcology acceptance and validation especially [from] their mom. If she was toxic, she too many have withheld affection as a form of punishment when your partner was growing up.

Looking for a mother figure psychology

And by standing firm within these relationship rules, your partner will hopefully begin to change. If mom needs or wants, they jump.

While it's obviously up to your partner to be aware of how they act, and to make an effort to change, it's something you can still work on together. And even when nothing is going wrong, they're criticizing her for something or other. Klapow says, or "try to get out of social situations that include their mom.

The five mother types

But hypersensitivity can also come about due to how they were treated by their mom. Typically, the children of toxic parents carry the effects with them into adulthood.

Looking for a mother figure psychology

Fogure stuck on what she's put them through and have trouble moving on from it. While you really can't blame your partner for not understanding boundaries, if they never learned them growing up, you can start to make a change as a couple, to ensure this toxicity doesn't affect you going forward. Since this can lead to problems in your relationship, you'll want to work on it together ASAP.

If they use affection as a weapon against you, however, it may be a .